Let Me Explain

"If a person's bodyweight is at least 20% higher than it should be, he or she is considered obese. If your Body Mass Index (BMI) is between 25 and 29.9 you are considered overweight. If your BMI is 30 or over you are considered obese." - Medical News Today

That is fact. It's not an opinion on the topic, but merely a definition. I don't believe you have to be skinny to be healthy.

This is about my misadventures in finding a FIT and happy place to be.

Friday, March 6, 2020

The Little Marathon That Could...

Okay, so I know somebody wants to hear the entire story of my 2020 Little Rock Marathon experience... right? Well, I promise this isn't going to be just another race report. Those are like super boring. Mostly.

Anyway, if I do this right, you'll be all up in your feels by the time you get to the finish line. Kinda like I was. So grab a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, whatever floats your boat, and get comfy. I don't know how long this is going to take me, but I want to tell the whole story.

I think I'm going to do this blog thing monthly rather than weekly. I feel like I can pack more useful information into a single post, plus it takes too much time to write something worth reading every week. I would like to start adding in my meal prep recipes and workouts, along with the fun theme and song.

Also, I'm totally welcome to feedback. So if there is something you would like to know or would like me to cover, please feel free to email me. It's allisoncassatta@gmail.com. If you want to chat about weight loss, exercise, triathlons, and fabulously stupid things like marathon running, I'm game. I pretty much stay attached to my email so I promise you'll get a response.

Now for the fun stuff...

If you've run a marathon or not, I think everyone can agree 26.2 miles on foot is a lot. It's not something anyone would call easy (not a sane person anyway.) Sure, it becomes less challenging the more you do it, but still far from anything easy. That's why I think the perfect theme for this blog post is "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger."

I will absolutely be the first person to say your race day experience is what your training makes it. If you slack off on your long runs, you'll pay for it come game day. If you don't log the miles, expect it to hurt. I'll also be the first to admit when I "dog it" as my friend Mike McCord would say. I totally dogged it this time around. I went out of 2019 marathon training, straight into Half Ironman training, straight into 2020 marathon training.

The burnout was real and abundant. I didn't get quite enough long runs in. One twenty miler instead of the two on most training  Whatever, I did one and maintained better than a 12:35 pace. I was going to be okay. But then my hip would hurt after thirty minutes on the treadmill and I would swear I was doomed. So I had concerns. Big concerns. I told myself I wouldn't finish, while telling myself a 5:30 finish was totally doable. Insanity. I know. I had this conversation with myself. <insert a winky face here>

Mentally, I was a mess.

This is the starting line on Saturday morning. I, like a lot of my completely insane friends, decided to do the combo (5K and Marathon) because seriously, if you're going to make the trip, get the extra bling. #nojoke

I practiced control with my pacing, ran the whole 3.1 miles with no walking and negative splits. Felt awesome coming across the finish. No pain. Stretched. Walked it off. Sat down for a bit. Boom. My hip started hurting... @#%$!!!

We went to dinner at this AMAZING little cafe called The Root. Took a Lyft there and walked back. Which was hella smart, because walking it off eased the pain. I woke up the next morning with zero aches, and in a pretty damn good place mentally.

I keep telling my friends they need better friends...

While I was trying not to be all up in my head about my race, my poor friend Cheryl was all up in hers about her first Half Marathon. For those who don't know, that's thirteen-point-one miles, and a pretty daunting prospect if you've never done it before. She had concerns too. Big ones. I did my best to give her a good pep talk, promised she would be okay and she would finish. She was more than ready. It's sometimes easier to tell other people the things you should be telling yourself. We can be our own worst enemies.

She finished right around her goal time, said she felt pretty good the entire race, and isn't put off by the idea of doing another one. Go Cheryl!

Running... It can be a little addictive.

So here goes the big part. The part about extraordinary people doing super hard shit despite their challenges. It started from the moment I lined up in my coral and didn't stop until I crossed the finish line. Remember... what doesn't kill you makes you strong.



I found my pacer, and older gentleman with a welcoming smile and a big personality. He was eager to chat with everyone, and meet everyone who would be running (or attempting to run) this race with him. We had two first-timers and I was honestly excited about that. It can be pretty fun helping someone through their first 26.2. He proceeds to tell us that there may be cameras and news following him. He was doing his 512th full marathon... WITH STAGE FOUR PROSTATE CANCER! Whatttttt....????

I stood there, staring at this man who looked perfectly healthy, and I couldn't speak. Like. Maybe people do this all the time. Like you read stories on the internet of people who overcome massive adversity to conquer insane goals, but how often do you get to spend five and a half hours chatting with them and soaking up all that strength? Well, I didn't get that much time either because I couldn't keep up with him. I lost him around mile fifteen. He honestly made it look easy, like he wasn't struggling for a second. Wow. Just wow.

So I was holding a really good and steady pace for a while. At least half the race. I stayed about two minutes ahead of my pace band, like I wanted to. Fuel was on point. Stomach was good. Weather cooperated. Hip did too... until around mile nine.

The pain was sharp. Like a Charlie horse right in the glute or under the hip bone, or over, or in the front of my thigh. It felt like it was everywhere, to be honest. All over my right hip. I hissed and walked for a bit. Then tried to run for a bit. My brain went straight into surrender mode. Like Allison, don't be an idiot, you can't do this. Of course, my heart knew walking it off helped last night and would surely god help today. My heart is the more stubborn of the two vital organs at least ninety percent of the time, and even that little soldier was ready to raise the white flag. My chin started to quiver. I was going to cry. Stupid. Soggy. Losery. Crying. UGH!!!

No. No crying. Walk it off. Walk it off. It didn't even take half a mile and I was back on my intervals (run three minutes, walk one minute.) Life was good again. I slowed my pace just to be careful, but finishing seemed possible again. Then around mile fourteen-ish, the pain came back. AGAIN. Maybe even a little more relentless than before.

I decided then if I had to, I would walk the rest of the race because I'd gone too many miles not to get that ridiculously huge, ridiculously sparkly medal. My stubbornness can be infuriating and it can be life saving. Life is about balance.

So this guy in a Navy 10NM shirt looks back to me and says, "you okay?"

I was like "yeah, I'm good" in my totally defeated voice. Then I asked him if he was okay because he seemed to be limping just a little bit. That question sparked a conversation, that lead to one of my favorite and most memorable race experiences ever.

BJ, Mike, and Me around Mile 22-23             BJ, Me, and Mike at the Finish    
A lot happened in the almost twelve miles to the finish. My hip hurt off and on, but not nearly as bad as it had. Mike's knee was hurting him, making it really hard to run for any length of time. He attempted Little Rock last year and was unable to finish due to his muscles all locking up on him. He was bound and determined to get that giant medal this year. I told him I would stay with him and we would both finish. Because I'll tell you something, when you're alone and things start hurting, marathon running gets at least fifty percent harder mentally.

Mike and I met another gentleman whose name I didn't get. He was seventy-two years old and running his 16th full marathon. Read that one more time. 72 years old. 16th full marathon. Extraordinary, right? I told him I wanted to be like him when I grow up. He was a cool guy, said Little Rock Parks and Recreation sponsors his running group and they run different parks each weekend. I feel like this dude was special and probably has a fun little tribe. He kept losing his stuff. Lost his phone. Mike somehow managed to bend over, pick it up, and stand upright again. Props to that. Mike gave the man his phone back, and he proceeded to tell us how he'd lost his water bottle full of pickle juice. For those that don't know, it helps with muscle cramps. Mike then gave him his last little bottle of pickle juice. We still had like ten miles to go...

Around mile 20-21, we met BJ. Now, BJ had passed us a while back and was running pretty solid, but he hit that wall that most first-timers hit where another 10k feels freaking impossible. Mike, again, asked "are you okay?" BJ shook his head.

We found out that the decision to do the marathon was a spur of the moment thing for BJ. Now, you might say what kind of fool just decides to do a marathon without training? Well, BJ had made a joke about it in front of the wrong little ears, and there we were. He said his son looked up at him and said "I think you can do it, daddy," and that was all he wrote. BJ was a man who ran three miles a day on a treadmill before work and was now doing a full marathon. What the what?!?! 

Just for the record, he's living proof that it can be done, but it's not gonna be easy.

We rounded the corner after the giant uphill at mile 25, with less than a mile to go and a spectator yelling "make those boys move, Allison!" Sorry, that was cute. I giggled a little. I looked back at them and told them both it was all downhill from there. Beautiful thing, that downhill, because god knows there was plenty going up on that course.

We got closer to the finish and this little human comes running out "Daddy! Daddy!" It was BJ's son. Mike told the kid to come run with us, to get on the course. I joked that he could have Daddy's big, sparkly medal.

The kid grabbed his father's hand and we all started running. Fast. Too fast. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Okay, slow down, y'all. BJ's legs went straight and he came to a dead stop. We weren't even a tenth of a mile from the finish. Mike and I both said, "keep moving! Keep moving." If BJ had stopped then, he might not have crossed the finish line. I grabbed his hand and off we went again. 


Mike got his huge medal to hang next to his wife's 2019 medal. 

I got my medal and another #finishingmove (that's a whole story. Adrenaline got the best of me.) 

BJ's son was right. His daddy could do it and the kiddo got to be there for the hardest part of it. 

We all hugged, and I think we all got a little choked up. I met BJ's goofy friends and one of them hugged me and thanked me for sticking with him. I also met his wife and son. 

At the end of the day, we were three strangers selflessly helping each other do something big and all for different reasons. None of this killed us and it definitely made us stronger. For me, it helped my soul (not sole.) My give-up was strong that day and those dudes totally pulled me out of my head. If they needed my help or not, I needed theirs, and that was completely okay. When asked what the most rewarding thing about being part of the running community is, I think the story of my 2020 Little Rock marathon sums it up perfectly. 

Friday, February 28, 2020

The Warrior

I feel like this is one of those blogs that needs something more than words and pictures. I mean, some random fat chick talking about her food/body struggles every week can get pretty boring. So I think I need to jazz things up with a theme, like a weekly mind/body positive theme thing. I think I like that. I'm a pretty creative person. This could get fun.

This week, I wanna celebrate our INNER WARRIOR. Yes, all of us have one. It's that thing inside us that makes us get out of bed when it's gross outside, the thing that gets us going when the going gets tough. Your inner warrior is the badass inside you that makes you keep pushing when all you wanna do is give up.

Truth? Marathon training isn't all fun and games. Don't get me wrong, it can be loads of fun under the right circumstances (and minus total burn-out) This round has been the absolute most challenging--mentally and physically--thing I've done recently. Yes, including training for and completing the half Ironman in Augusta last year. The burn-out has gotten super intense. Things hurt that weren't supposed to hurt. Even the short runs became a challenge. I've cried. I've gotten pissed off. I considered dropping down to the half because things just weren't coming together the way I needed them to. I even completely pulled away from social media. I stopped sharing my workouts to Strava because I wasn't proud of anything I was doing. Which is really stupid if you think about it. The sheer will to keep going is enough to be proud of, but I think you get the point. It's been a freakin' struggle.



With the Little Rock Marathon coming up this weekend, the song of the week HAS to be 80s, and I'm gonna be a whole lot extra and pick "The Warrior." If you've ever heard/seen me cross a finish line, you would understand this. Beyond that, I think it takes tapping into that warrior spirit to conquer these huge goals and finish things that are hard. A warrior heart can conquer an antagonistic brain every time!

Since the big race is fast approaching and I didn't stumble upon this IF thing until it was too late, I've decided not to fast Saturday or Sunday. I'm doing the Totally Awesome challenge again this year (the 5k Saturday and the Marathon Sunday.) Because who goes to Little Rock and doesn't race both days? Pft.

I also decided to start reporting the changes in my body measurements here as well, because isn't that what we all really wanna see? Does IF work? How well does it work? And can I maintain my present level of insanity with it?

After this past weekend, I've come to the conclusion it is entirely possible to do pretty strenuous activities fasted, but I feel like adding in the BCAAs was important. Fatigue wasn't nearly as bad Sunday as it was Saturday, which is kinda backwards if you think about it. After 10 miles in the woods, my legs should've been boat anchors, but they weren't. When I get back from Little Rock, I plan to play around with some things as far as fueling goes. One thing for sure, I'm going to keep using the BCAAs during my workouts.

WEEK ONE STATISTICS:
  • Weight: -2lb
  • BMI: -.10
  • Hips: No previous measurement
  • Waist: No previous measurement
  • Bust: No previous measurement

DAY FIVE - Sunday 2/23/20:

I didn't take any pictures today, so there's really nothing fun to share here. Unless you guys want to see a screenshot from Training Peaks... Yeah, I know. No one wants to see that.

This morning has been different than the previous mornings. I wasn't starving when I got out of bed. It wasn't like I ate a ton the night before. I threw a couple of Morningstar Spicy Black Bean burgers in the air fryer for me and the hubby for dinner. I think I ate a handful of White Cheddar Cheetos with it, but that was it. I honestly don't think I heard the first growl until around 8:30 (and I woke up around 4AM. Don't ask. It's stupid to be awake that early when you don't have to be.)

Nothing much to report, other than all my workouts were done fasted. I knew I would be close to home for my run, and in my garage for the rest. That felt safe. I didn't start feeling depleted until the end of the TABATA ride (which significantly kicks my ass on a good day.)

Today's workout:  (all fasted with 1.5 servings of BodyTech Ultimate BCAA)
  • DailyBurn 365
  • 3 Mile Run
  • 35 Minute TABATA Ride

DAY SIX - Monday 2/24/20:

My body is definitely getting used to this madness. I haven't been starving in the mornings, and those early evenings spent watching TV with my husband doesn't include snacking anymore, which I'm not missing too badly today. Though, that bag of white cheddar Cheetos is calling my name. Seriously, if you haven't tried those things, you're missing out. I can't even eat the orange ones anymore.

Today's workout:
  • DailyBurn 365
  • 20 Minute Stair Stepper Intervals

DAY SEVEN - Tuesday 2/25/20:


So this is totally cool. It's been exactly one week since I started this fasting experiment. It all began on a taco Tuesday. And what is today? Oh, yeah! #tacosarelife

Morning seem to be getting a lot easier. At least today they are. My body doesn't seem to be demanding food as soon as my eyes open. So that's a win. Pretty proud of my food choices during the day.

My husband made the BEST shrimp tacos and mango salsa for dinner. It was delicious and I felt completely satisfied... until like an hour later. It took a lot of will power to resist the urge to munch. If only I'd had that willpower when it came to working out today...

Today's workout:
  • I'm a total slacker. Don't judge me.

DAY EIGHT - Wednesday 2/26/20:

I think work from home days are especially hard because all the things I want to eat are right outside the office door, and I know they're there. Like those stupid White Cheddar Cheetos. Seriously, never ever ever buy them. Once you start, you can't stop.

We're stocking up on the carbs and protein in preparation for race weekend. Hubby cooked steak and baked potatoes tonight. It was incredibly filling. I had a handful of vanilla cupcake goldfish right before the fasting window started again. What? I wanted something sweet. #dontjudgeme

Today's workout: 

DAY NINE - Thursday 2/27/20:

Oh. My. God. I'm sooooo hungry. This morning was bad again. I counted down minutes and the clock wasn't going anywhere. My stomach rumbled sooooooooo loudly. Ugh.

I got so mentally invested in my work project that didn't eat until around 10:20. Obviously, my tummy quieted down, but I couldn't tell you when. Probably when I stopped thinking about it. That's the trick, you know?

Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I feel like I'm already seeing changes in my body composition. Keep in mind, I've been doing a lot of HIIT, TABATA, and core work since January 1, but I still feel like fasting is making a positive impact on my weight.

Today's workout: 
  • Rest

DAY TEN - Friday 2/28/20:

So far, so good. Still fasting. I did a little carb loading last night with pizza from Pyros. It was fabulous. Woke up still feeling pretty good. I'm going to break the fast tonight so I can properly fuel for Saturday and Sunday, but I plan on going back to this diet on Monday! I really like how I feel and the results I'm seeing.

I wanted to get this up before hitting the road to head to Little Rock. Kinda like having all my work wrapped up before heading on vacation. I don't like to leaving things unfinished. If all goes well, I'll have a fun story to tell about my 4th marathon! Wish me luck!

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Long Time, No See...

Wow, it's been a hot minute, hasn't it? Last time I talked to you all, I was going into training for my second full marathon. A lot has happened since then. Not only did I finish that bad boy, I finished a third and began training for my fourth. #oneanddonemyass #theytoldmeso

I also became a triathlete and finished my first half Ironman. (Augusta 70.3 is a story for another day.) Crazy stuff though, right? It's been a wild, fabulously torturous adventure. So much fun, in fact, that I've completely burned myself out. Yeah... totally. I had planned on doing my first 50k after Little Rock this year, but I decided against it because my heart just isn't in. I was training hard and everything was going great, then I got a lower respiratory infection that put me out for two weeks and messed up my long runs. I got discouraged and sorta gave up (still trained, but meh.) I'll pay for it March 1st. But that's not why we're here.

During all that hardcore endurance training, I STAYED hungry. Like all the time. See food. Eat food. And because of the burn-out and the fact I was still doing something, I gave myself license to eat what the hell I wanted to. This is a trap a lot of people fall into. You ran fifteen miles, eat an effing cupcake.

Can I just say Frost Bake Shop makes the best cupcakes in the 901. Don't believe me? Try them.

I digress. The point was I completely tanked my weight loss. Well, maybe not completely. I did manage to stay under two hundred pounds, but I'm getting to a place I don't like and it's ruining my run fun.

BodyFast App
As a subscriber to like every major fitness/running/healthy food blog/app/whatever, I get daily emails with catchy headlines about eat this and don't eat that, or do this workouts to boost your (insert whatever goal.) One came through a few weeks ago about intermittent fasting. It totally caught my eye, so I read it.

My brain very literally said to me, "but wait, Allison, you do all that endurancey crap. How can you fast?" So again, I took to Google. What I found was there are people in this wild universe who do IF and endurance running. A lot of super fit, super lean, long time endurance athletes whose bodies are consistently trained to do all this stuff. They weren't 40+ plus women with an excessive BMI and mad hankering for all the sweet things. Totally not applicable to me.

I'm piece-milling all the things I've found from the different sites and what I know about running and fueling and dieting, or at the very least what I think I know. I'm not certified in anything related to this blog. I'm an IT nerd. I sit at a desk all day and stare at screens. Though, in my defense, I have a standing desk and a balance ball chair.

So... consider this a science experiment, a diary of trial and error, with me being a willing guinea pig. I plan to share what has worked as far as fueling and what hasn't, all the emotions and how I feel physically during this madness and of course any positive and/or negative changes. Also, you guys are going to help me stay accountable. I plan to be very real with y'all, so that means I have to be very real with myself, and y'all know how hard that mess can be. I hope everyone finds this content helpful... or at the very least, entertaining to read.


THE PLAN:

"The concept is fairly simple: the 16:8 diet is where you eat for about eight hours of the day and then ‘fast’ for the rest of the day." source: Women's Health Magazine

"Suggested benefits of the 16:8 plan include weight loss and fat loss, as well as the prevention of type 2 diabetes and other obesity-associated conditions." source: Medical News Today

According to Gweneth Paltrow's Netflix show, Goop Lab, fasting also helps slow biological aging as well as increasing energy. Just Google it. The internet has a wealth of information about 16:8 Fasting.

Since I have a problem restricting what I eat, I'm not changing my diet. As it stands now, I typically avoid sugary things at least 6 days a week. I use Monk Fruit to sweeten my coffee. I've been breaking my fast with carbs and protein. One of my go-tos is Ezekiel Bread toast and nut butter. I'm eyeing a jar of Pistachio Butter I really wanna try. Friday is typically eat whatever day because Saturday (and likely Sunday) will always consist of a long/longish run. I think I mostly snack and eat smart, so we're going to try fasting and exercise before going too crazy.


DAY ONE - Wednesday 2/19/20:


My husband cooked this!!!
What, you didn't think you'd get through this without some food pics, did you? To the right is the last meal before starting the fast. My husband made homemade tomatillo salsa, pork carnitas tacos, and Mexican street corn. He keeps one-upping his taco Tuesdays. I'm not complaining. It was delicious and left me completely satisfied.

The morning after making this insane decision wasn't horrible. I was as hungry as I expected to be but my inner cheerleader was all "go team go! You can do it!" I was in a happy place with this decision despite my loudly growling stomach. Truth? The growling has been my body's way of saying good morning since I started doing all the physical activity back in 2015. Nothing new or shocking here.

The growling came in waves. I drank water and sugar/creamer free (zero calorie) coffee all morning and avoided people just in case my hangry came out. I broke the fast with Ezekiel Bread toast and peanut butter. Had a salad for lunch about an hour later. I never felt like I was completely satisfied though.

I might have cried a little when my Apple Watch notified me that my eating window was coming to an end.We all have things that move us to tears. Mine happens to be food and heart-jerking dramas with great character arcs... don't judge me. The hungrier I am, the more I fall for broken, fictional bad boys.

Today's workout: 
  • DailyBurn 365
  • 20 Min Stair Climber Intervals
  • 4 Mile Run (BCAA)

DAY TWO - Thursday 2/20/20:

Today was a whole different ball game. I was hungry when I woke up. My stomach was growling and didn't stop growling until I put something in it. I think she's getting an attitude. Gonna have to knock her down a peg or two.

I didn't get to break my fast with peanut butter toast today, because I've been in and out of meetings, but I still grabbed something with Protein. I read somewhere that your body will cannibalize the muscles without protein or something. So I figured this was a good choice... considering my boss fed us pizza today.

I pretty much stayed hungry and a little cranky all day. My husband made homemade Shrimp Scampi and garlic bread for dinner. I was a decent sized plate, and I was hungry thirty minutes after eating. I stayed hungry all night, even started feeling pretty bad. My stomach hated me. Since I started endurance training, whenever I get super hungry, I start feeling nauseous. That hasn't happened in a while, but it happened today. Ugh. Why am I doing this?

Today's workout: 
  • DailyBurn 365
  • 20 Min Stair Climber Intervals
  • 45 minute Cycle TABATA

DAY THREE - Friday 2/21/20:


I can't lie. Today, I was counting down the minutes until I could eat again. It was really hard not to cave today. I had one of those "how bad can one fun-sized Snicker ruin my fast?" You'd be proud. I didn't eat one. In fact, when it came time for my fasting window to end, I was good and had the little snack you see to your right. Colby Jack cheese cubes, coconut walnuts, and honeycrisp apples. Sounds like a ton of food, but it wasn't. Each side of the container is only a half a cup, and it was completely satisfying. Thank gawds, because on my way to lunch I was rear-ended and had to wait another hour and a half or so to even eat a real meal.

I carb loaded and proteined up for my weekend. My husband was craving Central BBQ, and to be honest, as soon as he mentioned it, I started craving it too. I didn't pig out, but was satisfied when my eating window close.

Today's workout: 
  • Rest Day


DAY FOUR - Saturday 2/22/20:

This morning, the growling didn't seem so bad. I wasn't horribly hungry upon waking. I didn't have the guts to start exercising fasted because I planned on going to the woods. Alone. That seemed dangerous to me. I did do my DailyBurn 365 fasted, and it was challenging, but that day's trainer has always been a tough one.


I had two slices of Ezekiel Bread toast and peanut butter (versus the one I typically have) and headed out to Herb Parsons Lake for a run in the woods. These lone adventures have been good for my head, and I think my self confidence. These particular trails are one of the more challenging for me. The pine cones make the floor slick, and with all the rain we've had, the trails were a mess. I focused more on not breaking my neck than trying to go fast, and eventually I made it out of the woods alive. It was a really great morning.


Today's workout: 
  • DailyBurn 365
    (BCAA post workout)
  • 10 Mile Trail Run
    (Peanut Butter Toast pre-run. Hammer Heed during workout. Chocolate Milk post workout)



Tuesday, December 19, 2017

After the After Party...

The marathon is now officially a thing of the past... kinda. I've put the 26.2 ornaments (yes, plural) on the tree. The sticker is on the car. Got the tank top to wear to the gym. I've said the word "marathon" enough that I'm sick of hearing it myself. LOL. Though, I have to admit, I still think how the hell did I survive that every time I see anything with 26.2 on it. But now that it's over, now that the training has come to an end, what do we do? What do we talk about?

A second marathon, of course....
You might be thinking man, that chick is nuts! Man, you might be right. As I worked out my new training schedule, I groaned at the long runs and all the insane things I had planned for this round of punishment. I got excited. Then I got tired (this just from looking at the schedule.) I told myself I was insane. I wondered what the hell I was thinking when I signed up for this thing at the Half last year. I know what it was. I was caught up in the excitement. Plus, I'd made a promise to a friend that we would do it together. Things changed. Plans changed. They do sometimes. Either way, here I am, entering ANOTHER round of marathon training, and without the requisite sitting on my ass and recovering from the last one. 

New calendars went up on the fridge, on the door between me and the ice cream and all the other frozen goodies that I'm trying to stay away from. Inspiration Station, I called it. There's a picture of my graduation 5k from 2015 and the time, my first half marathon and it's time (which I can beat by 30+ minutes now), and my first full marathon (which I intend to beat by a full hour next time around.) There's the 26.2 RNR sticker that will go on my car after the race. Most importantly though, and for mental prowess, is the note from my sweet friend Daniela. She'd left it on my car after I survived my first twenty mile training run, one which felt amazing and gave me confidence to see that journey through to the end. It's a great reminder that I can and I will. Failure is not an option. That being said, I'm a little burned out.

I thought the star system would be a great visual representation of how well I'm sticking to my training, and of course, perfect weeks get a reward, but right now I'm having a hard time getting motivated. I probably tried to jump back in it too fast. I probably should've given myself an entire week, but I got insecure and worried about my training. I didn't want to lose ground after six months of putting my body through hell. Well, I've had a serious conversation with myself about these fears. They're ridiculous. My body is trained, and after the first of the year, we'll get back on board with early, sweaty mornings and little aches that can't be explained. But for now, I'm going to enjoy the holidays and work at a pace that makes me love the lifestyle I've chosen. I hope to see you all in the new year. 

In the meantime...




Tuesday, December 5, 2017

The Marathon

Oooohhhh has it really been a month since I've talked to y'all? My bad. Maybe I can make up for it here...



THE MARATHON

You can train and train and train, do everything right, and still have the challenge of your life come race day, and that’s exactly what happened to me on Saturday. I’m trying to be as real about this as possible without being negative. I want everyone to know while this was probably the most god awful, physically demanding and draining things I’ve ever done in my life, not once was it a waste of time or effort, because what I walked away with was just as valuable.

I finished.
I puked. Twice. And I laughed about it because I was now a marathoner.

Finishing was SUPPOSED to be my only goal. I wanted to finish and not have a time in mind so I wasn’t disappointed with any part of the race. It didn’t work out that way. I was disappointed I didn’t finish in five hours. I was disappointed I didn’t run more. I was disappointed I didn’t finish faster. I was disappointed that I didn’t have the time of my life, that I was hateful as hell, and that I walked away saying I would never, ever, ever, in a million years do that distance again. I was disappointed with myself that I made beating someone else’s time my most motivating goal. I was disappointed with myself when people asked me how it went, that I couldn’t say “I had the time of my life and I want to do it again!” None of that was the memories I wanted to take away from the day.

I’m not going to write an entire dissertation on what happened throughout the race, but I’ll give you a breakdown of the key points--as I remember them. First, I love the cause but hate the course. The St. Jude half and full marathons are no joke. The hills in the city are sneaky. You don’t feel them until it’s too late. I’m not even kidding. You think they’re not there… but when you don’t get a break from them for like ten miles, it tends to wear you out. And, somewhere around the ten mile mark is where this course kills me. Every. Time. It happened last year. It happened this year. I’ll continue to be a hero and raise money, but until this Fat Girl can take a little more ass kicking, I’ll do the 10k or something shorter on this course… anything to keep me off North Parkway.

Second, and I think this is what actually killed me more than anything… I’ve been battling sinus problems for months. I went to the doctor, had everything all cleared up, or so it seemed, but a few days before the race things got bad again. More so, the fluid on my ear got worse and so did the popping. The morning of the race, I skipped the Flonase, because I’d gotten a couple nosebleeds and I didn’t want to be pulled off the course because of it, but I kept the Sudafed and the Allegra. The fluid on my ear wasn’t draining. The drugs drying me up gave me cottonmouth. I’m pretty sure I drank way too much. I’m not sure if it was the popping ear or the sloshing water, but one of the two kept making me nauseated. I’d be willing to bet it was my ear. Every time I tried to run and breathe, my ear filled up like it had a balloon in it and I would feel sick. So basically, for the next sixteen miles, I was fighting nausea, a popping ear, and an achy leg (from all the walking that wasn’t supposed to happen.)

DON’T STOP READING YET. ALL THE BAD STUFF ENDED RIGHT THERE. I PROMISE.

VIDEO CREDIT: RICHARD TUTKO

I put that finish line video right in the middle of this post for a reason. While all of that sounded really stinking horrible, and it really freaking was, I still finished, and I finished strong. I adapted and overcame. I preserved. Add to that I had the love and support of my friends and my husband. While I might’ve bitched and moaned for almost 6 hours, what happened at the finish line was totally worth all of it--the months of training, the pains, the missed parties, the money spent on doctors, the eating of all the good for me foods rather than the good for my taste buds foods. It was worth hurling in a blue cup/bag and yelling at people who tried to sit my ass in a wheelchair, because at the end of the day I learned one hell of a lesson… I was never, not even for one second, alone on this journey.

It was really quite overwhelming, from start to finish, the amount of support I had out there on Saturday. From the time I stepped foot onto Union Avenue to right before race start--where I was met with people squealing my name and holding out arms to give me hugs--to the time I crossed the finish line to the same cheers and hugs, I never once felt alone. That’s quite a feeling for someone who struggles with feelings of loneliness from time to time. People were at the start. They were on the course. They were at the finish. They were across state lines in front of computer screens. They were glued to their apps, watching my pace speed and slow. They lost complete days just to keep up with my progress. I can honestly say I’ve never felt so supported, so encouraged and so absolutely the opposite of alone in all my life. And it didn’t stop there. People--including my cousin, her husband and children--were waiting at the top of the stairs when I left the finisher zone. It was probably the most overwhelming thing I’ve ever experienced.

When I finally got home and had a chance to look over the text messages, the timeline posts on Facebook and the comments when I’d posted at mile 10 and 17 about how over it I was, I was so moved that I finally ugly cried. See, I don’t like crying. I especially don’t like crying in front of people. Sometimes though, crying isn’t bad. Sometimes, we’re so overwhelmed with emotion we need to get it out. Funny thing was, it wasn’t my accomplishment that really made me boo-hoo like a baby, but the fact my beginner runner ladies set a goal to run the entire 5k without stopping and they did it. I was more proud of them than I was of myself, and that was totally okay because I had an entire community of people to be proud for me.

There are by far way way way too many names to list individually, but I hope everyone knows how special they made this day for me. If I saw you or spoke to you at all, you were a part of my day and I thank you for that. I would, however, like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who came from Mississippi to cheer me on even though none of them are particularly fans of running. They are my friends, no… my family, and they did this for me. I hope I showed them all just how much it meant to me.


I would also like to take a moment to thank the people who spent all that time helping me get through those long training runs--especially Kirsten who let me verbally abuse her for almost six hours. And those who talked me through moments of doubt or gave me sound advice when I maybe wasn’t being rational. They say I could’ve done this on my own, and maybe I could have, but I’ll tell you this journey is a hell of a lot better when you have a tribe.

An epically huge thank you to Julianne Tutko for getting my sweet hubby where he was supposed to be. Between her and her husband Rich, finish line magic happened for me.

Most importantly, I need to thank the love of my life, Joe Cassatta, for being the kind of prince every girl dreams about. (Yes, I’m tearing up right now.) We’ve always been supportive of each other’s crazy endeavors, but I never expected him to go above and beyond the way he has since all of this started back in June. He has gone out of his way to make sure I had carbs on the days I needed them, or light meals on slow days. He helped me prep my lunches, rubbed my butt when it hurt. He sat in doctor’s offices with me, suffered through my moodiness, and lost quality time with me so I could train. He never once complained about any of it. I mean, y’all, he even held my puke cup while I hurled. That’s love right there.

I think it’s safe to say I’m probably the luckiest girl in the world because through this process, I realized I very much have a tribe, and they all came together and kicked major ass just to make my first marathon a memorable experience. They did. In spades.

After...

From the experience I had, one might doubt their training. Maybe. They might go back and look for all the things they did wrong, and I was really close to doing that myself, however I'm not going to. Why? Because I climbed LOTS of stairs after it was over and barely whimpered. I jogged downstairs. I danced and I partied. My legs and my body were conditioned for this. I trained well. I honestly believed what happened Saturday was beyond my control. I honestly believe it was because I was still sick.

From here…

I kept telling Kirsten that I wouldn’t do another marathon, that I wasn’t built for the distance, and yeah… no. I kept saying I wasn’t going to do New Orleans (The Rock-N-Roll Marathon in March that I’m already signed up for because JACKET.) I kept saying I would defer, or maybe just lose the money because marathons are stupid, but after a lengthy text conversation with a woman I’m hoping will become my Tri coach in 2018 (I haven’t had that conversation with y’all yet) I changed my mind about New Orleans. I’m going to do it. I’m going to give the distance another chance. New Orleans is a pretty flat course. It shouldn’t be too cold or too hot, shouldn’t be in the middle of cold and allergy season, so we’ll see. I’m already trained up. Might as well do it while I can, right? And if I still hate it, then now I know. I don’t have a problem trying to get my half marathon time down to 2 hours while working my way up to Triathlons.



Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Marathon Training - Week 21 Wrap Up

Nov 5th-Nov 11th ~ 35.9 Miles

Day 140 ~ 6 Recovery Miles
Day XX ~ Rest
Day 141 ~ Boot Camp & 3.5 Miles
Day 142 ~ Run 8 Miles
Day 143 ~ REST
Day 144 ~ REST
Day 145 ~ 18 Mile Long Run

Meal prep this week - My Chipotle Chicken Burrito Bowl

I swear, I should just skip rest days so I can keep the numbers right. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

So, Marathon training is FAST wrapping up. I had one more long run this week, which my chiropractor advised against. Not the ENTIRE run, but no more than twenty miles.That was after telling me no more dancing on pine cones, which of course made me laugh harder than it should have. See, I had a major panic after my long run Wednesday night. I kept having these super sharp, pretty painful spikes in the side of my knee, so much so it felt like my leg was going to buckle. It didn't happen a lot, but it happened frequently enough to cause concern.

When I finished running that night, got home and got settled, the muscles above and below my knee got super tight, and I still had that spike of pain every once in a while. I stretched. I slept it off. Everything felt like it was going to be fine on Thursday, then I had to walk up three steps at work. Let's just say I was on the phone with the doctor's office as soon as they opened Thursday morning.

Dr. Wonderful asked me everything I'd done as usual, then I told him about the pine cone during my last long run. I don't know if I shared the pine cone story, but... running UP Neshoba in the almost sunrise, my foot landed on a freaking huge pine cone. If it had been a snake, this might be a very different conversation. Anyway, my left foot rolled forward and to the left. I screamed like a banshee, nearly gave Yella a heart attack as she lunged for me. We laughed it off, and I kept running. Everything fine Saturday. As you can see, everything wasn't fine. Dr. Aaron informed me that I had a new injury, to which he taped for me, which gave me a fairly successful run on Saturday.

Since we're talking about Saturday--like my segue? Anyway, it was cold and early, and my heart really wasn't into doing two laps of eleven miles around the same dreary parts of downtown and midtown Memphis. I figured out where to cut a mile out of the loop, which would've given me the twenty, but ugh... LOOPS! There's nothing I hate more than running a loop. So boring. I'll do it, but I'd rather visit the dentist on no caffeine day. Yeah. No.

Kirsten, my brilliantly insane running buddy, told me she hated loops too. We commiserated while running in the cold, watching our breath, and charging through downtown on how we could get the miles without doing the loops. She was deep in thought, doing math while I happily plodded along to whatever dance club jam was coming out of my phone while she muttered numbers beside me.

Eventually, her plotting and mathing led us to changing the plan and going off course for one of the funnest, most epic adventures of my marathon training. We took off toward the river and ran cross state lines! We went from Midtown Memphis, to Downtown, to Arkansas, and back again. There's been so much good change in my city, change I'd never seen until now. Martyrs park was so freaking cool. It would've been a lot cooler if we'd been about 20 minutes later and the bathroom at the visitors center had been open...

The last few miles weren't fun for either of us, but I had an injury, and we were both cold and flu season hungover. We still made the best of it and laughed along the way. Two more long runs before the big day!

Friday, November 10, 2017

Marathon Training - Week 20 Wrap Up

Oct 29th-Nov 4th ~ 23.1 Miles

Day 133 ~ 6 Recovery Miles
Day 134 ~ Dance
Day 135 ~ Boot Camp
Day 136 ~ Run 6 Miles
Day 137 ~ REST
Day 138 ~ REST
Day 139 ~ 11 Mile Long Run

Meal prep this week - Sooooo much fail. Luckily though, I'd made cucumber dill wraps to munch on after my long run Saturday and I didn't eat them all so I didn't have to eat out every day.

Man... it's been a rough week. I'm so far behind on everything. Let's see if I can remember the standout moments from last week.

Ooohhhh... I remember last week. CHOCOLATE!!!! Oh, and cold. Lots of cold.

Oh wait. Something did happen. But it wasn't last week. I just wasn't ready to talk about it last week. My feelings were a little hurt, and the only feeling I had about it was nastiness. So I just kept my mouth shut.

A friendship ended. Over rumors. Over training. Over... whatever. The reason doesn't matter. And I wasn't going to write about this, because it's not part of marathon training, but it kinda is. Emotions can seriously get in the way of training if you let them. I refused to let them. I'm not going to go into details, but I've learned a lesson about people... when they check out on you, don't take it personally. Its a decision they made. Not you. Also, people talk. People lie. Rumors happen. If you value someone in your life, ask them if the rumors are true before you believe them. Not the other way around. That's all the life/friendship advice I have right now.

As you've been told many times before, running is as much mental as it is physical. So after losing my friend, I wasn't in the greatest head space, but I persevered. I didn't make it obvious by boohooing about it, but yeah... it hurt a little. I also didn't have time to dwell. People will always come and go. Their departure should never, ever stop us. Goals are still goals and failure still isn't an option. Other's involvement doesn't determine my success. I do.

The previous week, while it sucked, ended on a 20 mile high note that left me feeling strong and confident.

Sunday I did my recovery miles--very gently--on a treadmill while watching a horror movie. It was epic and the six miles were done before I knew it. I chose the treadmill because I still hadn't warmed up from the previous day and the idea of getting cold again was about as vomit-inducing as the idea of my feet hitting MORE pavement. The dreadmill was a great alternative and got me through the miles with no problem.

My usual dance and boot camp followed, though I'd opted out of running Tuesday night because my legs felt really fatigued in boot camp that morning, and I was concerned about my left leg. Throughout my training, I've been dealing with some anterior tibialis and IT band issues that has me in a chiropractor every other week. When things start hurting, I ask myself "what would normal, stubborn and sometimes stupid Allison do" then I do the opposite. Normal Allison would've suffered through and probably been sidelined before the big day. We're trying really hard not to be stupid Allison.

Wednesday night, I learned that four legs are faster than two and sometimes dogs are better than GPS. I also learned that Sir, Issac Newton had it wrong. What goes up doesn't always come down. Like in Kirsten's neighborhood where you can go up 27 hills and only come down once and still make it back to the starting point. And I'm not talking about kiddie hills either. I'm talking about hills to make you say bad words. But we had fun. Well, I know I did. And hills only make you faster so we love them SOOOOOO much. That may or may not have been sarcasm. It really depends on the day.

The week ended with an eleven mile long run that the lovely and zany Yella joined me for. Oh. My. God. Soooooo cold. The run was wonderful and we had lots of laughs with our imaginary boyfriend Ryan from Boston who just wants to have beer and donuts with us, despite running in the kind of cold you felt in your bone marrow. I think I'm still trying to thaw out.

So now we're to a point where training is winding down and the big day is upon us. Well, after Saturday's long run, anyway. I've found my tolerance for bullshit is fading. I don't have time or patience for the things I used to. I'm trying to be smarter about my body, i.e. going to the doctor when something doesn't feel right... even if it's just a little sinus pressure. I've found the advice from experienced friends has been monumentally huge in the success of my training. I've surrounded myself with wonderful, positive people who uplift and encourage. I've found that any talk of kids with cancer gets to my core more than it ever had in the past. I've found confidence in myself where it seriously lacked before, and I think that's probably been the most rewarding part of this so far... I'm sure there will be a hell of a lot more to come.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Marathon Training - Week 19 Wrap Up

Oct 22nd-Oct 28th ~ 32.8 Miles

Day 126 ~ REST
Day 127 ~ REST
Day 128 ~ Boot Camp and Run (4.5)
Day 129 ~ Run 5.25 Miles
Day 130 ~ 70 Min. Dance, 3 Mile Run
Day 131 ~ REST
Day 132 ~ 20 Mile Long Run

Meal prep this week - Greek Orzo Salad

When marathon training makes you feel like a freaking rock star...

Okay so, back in August, when I looked at the calendar for this training, I looked at the mileage and immediately started thinking about what kind of jewels I wanted on my urn and what kind of flowers I wanted at my memorial because there was no way in hell I would ever get through this without dying. The first, twelve mile run (though I had done more than a dozen half marathons) had thoroughly convinced me that I wasn't cut out for the marathon distance. Some people just weren't built that way. Another really bad long run almost made me call it quits and walk off the route. I think it was pure stubbornness that kept me going that day, but whatever it was, I'm grateful for it now.

Saturday, I ran the longest distance I've ever run in my life. Let me back up and say that I had been dreading this run since August. I'd had nightmares about failing out before hitting twenty miles. Those who know me know I don't commit to anything I don't feel like I'll succeed at. Not a great way to live life, but I'm not emotionally equipped to deal with being a failure. Not yet. That's a whole different kind of blog. We'll work on that eventually, but for now... I don't fail. Period. Like I said... stubbornness.

The night before the 20 miles I was stressed the hell out. You would've thought it was race day. I made a pile of clothes, checked and rechecked them. Moved them so they didn't fall in the cat's water bowl. Moved them again so they wouldn't fall in the tub. Moved them again so my socks couldn't roll off and get lost. I packed my CamelBak with Twizzlers and M&Ms and two Honey Stinger waffles... more water than I really needed and a frozen bottle of Tailwind. Everything was going to be fine. It was going to be great... even if it took me all damn day to get back to my car.

My bottle of Tailwind never unfroze, neither did my face and fingers. But the cold was no big thing... just motivation to get the miles done faster so I could thaw out in a hot bath. Right?

Daniela and I split at about twelve miles. Kirsten, like most people who live in Memphis this time of year was battling ear and sinus infections, and didn't need to risk being in the cold. I'll go ahead and tell you she still feels bad about that no matter how much I tell her it's okay. It's still very much okay with me. Kirsten, I still love your silly ass.

I was ready for my little 8 mile adventure back to my car. A-okay! Well, it was until I nearly slid my booty across an icy bridge. Losing your footing after running like 14 miles is an interesting jolt to the system... that's all I'm saying. Things tingled where things shouldn't tingle. My heart was in my throat. Scared the poo out of me (thankfully, not literally speaking.) I took that opportunity to fuel while my heart shoved itself back in my chest. And I still had to cross that bridge one more time...

I carried on my little adventure, finding the fatigue setting in real good around the 17th mile. My legs were over it and though I still ran every half mile interval, they were being shortened every time. I was starting to get grumpy, but still had myself in check pretty good. Then my phone died, taking with it the music that made me just happy enough to be out there without giving up. So now all I had was my thoughts.

Running is very much a mental sport, and at this point, my longest run ever had the potential to turn into my worst run ever. I still had about 2 and a half miles left to go, in silence, and... ANDDDDD I was going to run right past the trail exit that led back to my car. Do you know the temptation to stop and call it quits was SOOOOOOOO huge. I mean, it took a fair amount of willpower to keep going. I honestly believed I wasn't going to make it. I'd stopped to stretch, to re-focus and figure out a way to get through that last little bit without my music and without someone to talk to, when a man in a bright green shirt came jogging... errrrr running by me. He gave me an sympathetic smile and a soft good morning. Okay. Okay. Fine. Since he was being that way--all nice and junk--I could keep going. When I rounded the next corner, there he was... doing the same exact thing I had been doing a few seconds ago.

Of course, I had to ask, "how many miles?" To which he said seventeen. He started walking with me and I wasn't the least bit creeped out by this. He was one of my people. A runner. I learned in the next fifteen minutes or so that his name was Craig and he's 55. He'd only been running for a year and a half, and was also training for his first full marathon as was his wife, who was battling a cold and couldn't be out there with him. Thanks to random stranger found on trails, I got through the rest of my run with no problem. I was REALLY appreciative of my rebel spirit and breaking my parents' "don't talk to strangers" rule. LOL


While I'm on the subject of thanking people for their contribution to my training, I would be remiss if I didn't point out the people who have been there on those early, EARLY mornings... in the heat and in the cold...

The ones who have pulled me through some pretty miserable middle-of-the week long runs, while also being a part of the pretty incredible middle-of-the-week long runs.

The ones who have called me when it was obvious I needed a head check, the ones who have been there to get and give sweaty hugs.

Even as I sit here and type this, the list goes on and on, to the instructors at the gym who know it's cool to go all drill sergeant on me because now wasn't the time to slack, to the friends who promise to be there in whatever capacity I need on the big day. Most importantly, and I'll have more to say about him on game day, but thanks to the ONE who has been putting up with my moodiness and my cravings and (no, I'm not pregnant, but like another friend said... I'm birthing a marathon here) most importantly loving me no matter how much of a brat I'm being. I fully acknowledge this was a group effort, and I couldn't have gotten this far without these crazy, wonderful people.

"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you even when you don't see it yourself."
~ Edmund Lee









Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Marathon Training - Week 18 Wrap Up

Oct 15th-Oct 21st ~ 41.8 Miles

Day 119 ~ Rock-n-Roll St. Louis Half Marathon (2:15:03 PR)
Day 120 ~ REST
Day 121 ~ Boot Camp and Run (3.1)
Day 122 ~ Run 9.25 Miles
Day 123 ~ 70 Min. Dance
Day 124 ~ REST
Day 125 ~ 12 Mile Long Run

Meal prep this week - Mediterranean Chickpea Quinoa Bowl

Coming off my AMAZING weekend in St. Louis and a five hour drive home left me exhausted. My body needed sleep in its own bed. My belly needed food that was clean and in my normal diet. I needed time to chill and get my routine back. I wanted to take my extra day off catching up at home (i.e. cuddling the kitty and the hubby.) Soooo... I skipped my recovery miles and my Monday dance class. I love that class so much, but my legs were done.

Tuesday I did speed work, which I figured out later might've been a bad idea. Why? Because Wednesday evening, the day after Tuesday evening, I did nine miles that were a little harder than they should've been. Granted, it was a bit warm out and I had worked alllllll freaking day long, but my legs were the problem. They were tired, and they stayed tired, even through two more days of rest. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Wednesday's run immensely. But tired legs are tired legs. Achy muscles are achy muscles. As a result, I didn't run Thursday. I still did my dance class because movement keeps us from getting stiff and achy, but I took it easy. Friday, I stuffed my face with my favorite pizza and I went to bed early like a good girl.

When I texted my friend Kirsten about Saturday's run, I told her, "It's just twelve miles." Like that was easy or something. Truth? I was simply letting her off the hook for an early morning, but it struck me as funny, and quite insane, that I... the girl who never wanted to be a runner.. actually said twelve miles was easy. What the hell is happening to me?

At 4am on Saturday morning, I still firmly believed that the twelve miles wasn't going to be a thing, that this was easy stuff. I'd done that distance a million times. Well, not a million, but at least like twenty. The run wasn't perfect, but not bad. There were a few points when I got in my head. Something small would hurt or I would get tired, and I went to that I can't do this place. Then I would tell myself to suck it up and stop being a wimp. I passed landmarks that let me know I was getting close to the end. I went up and down hills. I was mentally over running up hill, but still physically able to do it. I probably should've slowed down some, but I didn't. I was fine. I was going to be okay. And I was. At the end of the day, the miles were done and I felt strong. Physically. I'm still trying to figure out the mental training part...

At this point, I'm on the fence about how Saturday is going to go. Just so you know, it'll be the first time I've crossed the twenty mile marker. It's a scary milestone. I mean... two years ago, I was excited to have finished a 10k without dying, and that race left me hurting so damn bad I took about six weeks off from running. Three years ago, no one would've ever convinced me I could run anything. I was doing good to walk two miles on a treadmill in under an hour. Today, I'm on the verge of becoming a bad ass. The body really is capable of amazing things.

"Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in."
~ Bill Bradley