The Warrior

I feel like this is one of those blogs that needs something more than words and pictures. I mean, some random fat chick talking about her food/body struggles every week can get pretty boring. So I think I need to jazz things up with a theme, like a weekly mind/body positive theme thing. I think I like that. I'm a pretty creative person. This could get fun.

This week, I wanna celebrate our INNER WARRIOR. Yes, all of us have one. It's that thing inside us that makes us get out of bed when it's gross outside, the thing that gets us going when the going gets tough. Your inner warrior is the badass inside you that makes you keep pushing when all you wanna do is give up.

Truth? Marathon training isn't all fun and games. Don't get me wrong, it can be loads of fun under the right circumstances (and minus total burn-out) This round has been the absolute most challenging--mentally and physically--thing I've done recently. Yes, including training for and completing the half Ironman in Augusta last year. The burn-out has gotten super intense. Things hurt that weren't supposed to hurt. Even the short runs became a challenge. I've cried. I've gotten pissed off. I considered dropping down to the half because things just weren't coming together the way I needed them to. I even completely pulled away from social media. I stopped sharing my workouts to Strava because I wasn't proud of anything I was doing. Which is really stupid if you think about it. The sheer will to keep going is enough to be proud of, but I think you get the point. It's been a freakin' struggle.



With the Little Rock Marathon coming up this weekend, the song of the week HAS to be 80s, and I'm gonna be a whole lot extra and pick "The Warrior." If you've ever heard/seen me cross a finish line, you would understand this. Beyond that, I think it takes tapping into that warrior spirit to conquer these huge goals and finish things that are hard. A warrior heart can conquer an antagonistic brain every time!

Since the big race is fast approaching and I didn't stumble upon this IF thing until it was too late, I've decided not to fast Saturday or Sunday. I'm doing the Totally Awesome challenge again this year (the 5k Saturday and the Marathon Sunday.) Because who goes to Little Rock and doesn't race both days? Pft.

I also decided to start reporting the changes in my body measurements here as well, because isn't that what we all really wanna see? Does IF work? How well does it work? And can I maintain my present level of insanity with it?

After this past weekend, I've come to the conclusion it is entirely possible to do pretty strenuous activities fasted, but I feel like adding in the BCAAs was important. Fatigue wasn't nearly as bad Sunday as it was Saturday, which is kinda backwards if you think about it. After 10 miles in the woods, my legs should've been boat anchors, but they weren't. When I get back from Little Rock, I plan to play around with some things as far as fueling goes. One thing for sure, I'm going to keep using the BCAAs during my workouts.

WEEK ONE STATISTICS:

• Weight: -2lb
• BMI: -.10
• Hips: No previous measurement
• Waist: No previous measurement
• Bust: No previous measurement

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DAY FIVE - Sunday 2/23/20:

I didn't take any pictures today, so there's really nothing fun to share here. Unless you guys want to see a screenshot from Training Peaks... Yeah, I know. No one wants to see that.

This morning has been different than the previous mornings. I wasn't starving when I got out of bed. It wasn't like I ate a ton the night before. I threw a couple of Morningstar Spicy Black Bean burgers in the air fryer for me and the hubby for dinner. I think I ate a handful of White Cheddar Cheetos with it, but that was it. I honestly don't think I heard the first growl until around 8:30 (and I woke up around 4AM. Don't ask. It's stupid to be awake that early when you don't have to be.)

Nothing much to report, other than all my workouts were done fasted. I knew I would be close to home for my run, and in my garage for the rest. That felt safe. I didn't start feeling depleted until the end of the TABATA ride (which significantly kicks my ass on a good day.)

Today's workout:  (all fasted with 1.5 servings of BodyTech Ultimate BCAA)

• DailyBurn 365
• 3 Mile Run
• 35 Minute TABATA Ride

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DAY SIX - Monday 2/24/20:

My body is definitely getting used to this madness. I haven't been starving in the mornings, and those early evenings spent watching TV with my husband doesn't include snacking anymore, which I'm not missing too badly today. Though, that bag of white cheddar Cheetos is calling my name. Seriously, if you haven't tried those things, you're missing out. I can't even eat the orange ones anymore.

Today's workout:

• DailyBurn 365
• 20 Minute Stair Stepper Intervals

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DAY SEVEN - Tuesday 2/25/20:

So this is totally cool. It's been exactly one week since I started this fasting experiment. It all began on a taco Tuesday. And what is today? Oh, yeah! #tacosarelife

Morning seem to be getting a lot easier. At least today they are. My body doesn't seem to be demanding food as soon as my eyes open. So that's a win. Pretty proud of my food choices during the day.

My husband made the BEST shrimp tacos and mango salsa for dinner. It was delicious and I felt completely satisfied... until like an hour later. It took a lot of will power to resist the urge to munch. If only I'd had that willpower when it came to working out today...

Today's workout:

• I'm a total slacker. Don't judge me.

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DAY EIGHT - Wednesday 2/26/20:

I think work from home days are especially hard because all the things I want to eat are right outside the office door, and I know they're there. Like those stupid White Cheddar Cheetos. Seriously, never ever ever buy them. Once you start, you can't stop.

We're stocking up on the carbs and protein in preparation for race weekend. Hubby cooked steak and baked potatoes tonight. It was incredibly filling. I had a handful of vanilla cupcake goldfish right before the fasting window started again. What? I wanted something sweet. #dontjudgeme

Today's workout: 

• DailyBurn 365
• 3 Mile Easy Run

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DAY NINE - Thursday 2/27/20:

Oh. My. God. I'm sooooo hungry. This morning was bad again. I counted down minutes and the clock wasn't going anywhere. My stomach rumbled sooooooooo loudly. Ugh.

I got so mentally invested in my work project that didn't eat until around 10:20. Obviously, my tummy quieted down, but I couldn't tell you when. Probably when I stopped thinking about it. That's the trick, you know?

Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I feel like I'm already seeing changes in my body composition. Keep in mind, I've been doing a lot of HIIT, TABATA, and core work since January 1, but I still feel like fasting is making a positive impact on my weight.

Today's workout: 

• Rest

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DAY TEN - Friday 2/28/20:

So far, so good. Still fasting. I did a little carb loading last night with pizza from Pyros. It was fabulous. Woke up still feeling pretty good. I'm going to break the fast tonight so I can properly fuel for Saturday and Sunday, but I plan on going back to this diet on Monday! I really like how I feel and the results I'm seeing.

I wanted to get this up before hitting the road to head to Little Rock. Kinda like having all my work wrapped up before heading on vacation. I don't like to leaving things unfinished. If all goes well, I'll have a fun story to tell about my 4th marathon! Wish me luck!

I Became Overweight Today... and I'm Thrilled About It!!!

I know you're probably thinking what is this crazy lady talking about. Who is happy about being overweight? Well... give me a moment to explain. I'm going to start with the word obese. It's not a very pretty sounding word, is it? In fact, Google's dictionary gives a grim and unappealing definition:

Gross. Bloated. Bulky. Paunchy. Corpulent?!?! Doesn't sound too pretty, huh?

**This isn't to fat shame or body shame anyone. I know people get super sensitive about words these days. I'm obviously sensitive about the word obese, otherwise we wouldn't be here right now. Right? Personally, I think if you're happy and in love with yourself, that's all that really matters in the end. I'm not the person who is happy and in love with myself because I know what I'm capable of and obesity isn't it. Not for me.**

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way...

When I started with my Fitbit on February 7th, 2014, I weighed 250 pounds. And that wasn't even the heaviest I'd ever been, but it was the most humiliating and damaging to my self esteem because I'd let myself get that way after working so hard to get the weight off. I'd lost 90 pounds in 9 months, only to have it come back with a vengeance after I'd gotten laid off from my previous job. I'd spent 2-3 months sitting on my butt, drinking coffee and eating comfort food because I was scared and sad. I was going to lose my house. I was up to my eyeballs in credit card debt because the state of Mississippi maxed out their unemployment at $217 a week back then and we still had to make ends meet while I was looking for a job. IT jobs weren't aplenty in that area.

I moved back to Memphis in 2012, and because of my living situation, I was eating a lot of fast food. I wasn't making good food choices and I damn sure wasn't exercising. I had books to finish writing, things I'd started when I was still unemployed. I had excuses... sooooo many excuses not to take care of myself.

In 2013, we were finally back on our feet enough to get our own place again, and every single morning I drove past an Anytime Fitness. It kept calling to me. "Allison, get off your fat ass and get in here. You know you're not happy." I wasn't. It took awhile, but eventually I joined. I bought a Fitbit because the company I work for has fitness incentives, not the least to mention was a fat deduction to the cost of my insurance. So basically, my gym membership paid for itself because of the discount on my insurance... because I went to the gym. Okay. Cool. I'm in. Lot's of other fitnessy things followed, but that makes this story SUPER long. Basically, I started walking for an hour a day, then I added dance twice a week, then came running, then came boot camp and cycling and... yeah, I've lost my mind.

When I bought my Fitbit in 2014, I was 250 pounds with a BMI of 41.6.

By this chart's logic, I was very severely obese.

What? No? You gotta be kidding me. I didn't look very severely obese. I mean... those are the people who can't get out of bed, right? Apparently not, and I HATE this chart and that word so much. Because had I seen this chart at that point in my life, I might've become the person who couldn't get out of bed, who couldn't tie their own shoes, who couldn't take care of themselves on the most basic level. I could've easily become so depressed it got worse. But I didn't...

This is where I am today.

I'm not sharing this to brag, though I will admit I'm going to celebrate the hell out of this. Might even get the cake my husband and I were craving so badly last night. I'm sharing this because the very real truth of weight loss and transformation is it doesn't happen overnight. It happens over hours, days, months, and years of dedication. It's not easy, but in the end it's rewarding. 

The expectation is always to see pounds fall off fast, and they will, but don't get discouraged when they stop falling off, when your body gets used to the new things you're doing and stops responding the way it had been. It'll happen. It's called a plateau and it sucks. In fact, when I plateaued, I got so discouraged I told my husband, "I might as well eat all the things since the weight isn't changing." I didn't stop running or working out, but I totally ate ALL THE THINGS I could get my hands on. The harder I trained the more I wanted to eat, and that's still a thing. I come in from working out soooooooo hungry and I want everything I'm not supposed to eat. The longer the miles get, the more I want to stuff all the sweet carbs in my face. Every Saturday is cheat day. I get one. I make it worth it. Prepping my lunches has helped get my weight loss going again. All I can do is stick with it and hope the pounds keep coming off. In the meantime, I'm perfectly content being overweight.  

Marathon Training - Week 9 Wrap Up

Aug 13th-Aug 19th ~ 28.3 Miles

Day 58 ~ Recovery Miles (2.5)
Day 59 ~ WRWM Coaching (4.93)
Day 60 ~ 55min Bootcamp
Day 61 ~ Base Miles (6.06)
Day 62 ~ Base Miles (4), Dance 55min
Day 63 ~ Rest (Shrimp Quesadilla, Chips and dips, and Churros to fuel)
Day 64 ~ Long Run (10.83 miles)


Clearance from the doctor gave me a new lease on running this week. I took the miles gently, and there were many more to be had. I just wanted to run and run and keep on running, and for the most part, I did. It was nice to get back into my routine with boot camp and dance. I did feel like tweak a little dance class on Thursday, and I called it quits a little earlier than I wanted to. I just didn't want to take any chance on overdoing it. 

For now, I'm treating with an anti-inflammatory and three to four visits with the chiropractor. I think Monday will be my third visit. That being said, I've told him he's my guy for the rest of the year. By the time the marathon rolls around, I want to be running like a well oiled machine. I believe Dr. Aaron is the guy to get me there. He seems to understand runners. It helps that he's really nice and truly listens, then explains everything that's going on.

Our wonderful Memphis heat and humidity decided to make reappearance. It's my fault. One day last week I wondered when the heat wave would be back. We were wayyyyyy too lucky to get out of summer without too many triple digit days. Yeah, Mother Nature got me good for that one. She rolled in a heat wave that made me sweat buckets, which made for a few excruciating run days, but I got the miles and at the end of the week my legs were feeling pretty good. My mind that got the best of me Saturday (which happens), but we've had a talk and it's not going to do that shit again. If it does, I'll torture it with reality TV.

Also new this week... (2 new changes, actually.)

I've started using MyFitnessPal again. I absolutely hate counting calories. Hate. It. I can think of more pleasant ways to be tortured. However, everyone I know keeps warning me about how I'll want to eat everything in sight while training for a marathon, so I thought I should get control on that now. Especially since my weight seems to be hovering in the same five pound range. It's frustrating to exercise so much and not get anywhere, but then I remember the slice of cake or ice cream or the entire pizza I ate after pounding the pavement for two hours. I'm also very aware that I need to eat better. I need to fuel my body better to get me through all this working out. I'll still have my cheat days on Saturday for sanity's sake, but Monday-Friday, we gotta get real.

Which brings me to the second thing I changed this week...

I've jumped on the meal prepping bandwagon. Oh yeah. Totally did. I went to IKEA and bought two - 3pks of containers. My husband cut up all these veggies he swore I wouldn't like. We mixed up the recipe, and he tweaked it a little by adding some garlic. I think it could've used a little more dressing, but overall it was a success. Each portion came in under 400 calories and filled me up all day. I was impressed. So we're going to do it again next week, with a different recipe that pushes the line of my incredibly picky taste in food. Tune in to found out how it goes. 

Marathon Training - Week 7 Wrap Up

July 30th-Aug 5th ~ 19.7 Miles

Day 44 ~ 5k Recovery Miles
Day 45 ~ Sick
Day 46 ~ 50min Bootcamp
Day 47 ~ 5k Base Miles (Bad Day)
Day 48 ~ Base Miles (dreadmill), Dance
Day 49 ~ Rest (Carb up, Grocery shopping, Chill with the hubs)
Day 50 ~ Long Run (9 miles)


Not every week or every workout will be paved with rose petals and showered in rainbows. Sometimes, life gets in the way. Sometimes, emotions get the better of us. This week was like that for me. Actually, let me re-phrase. Sunday was amazing. I had awesome splits. The weather was perfect. I had the best time running the 5k loop around Cancer Survivors Park. I volunteered for MRTC (Memphis Runner Track Club.) Life was good and I felt great about myself. Then Monday happened. Stupid Monday. 

Mother Nature kicked my ass Monday morning. I wasn't even trying to fight her on that one. But it was a really sucky start to the week. It seems like if I have no motivation on Monday, the rest of the week ends up shot too. So we chalked Monday up to being a total bust. I told myself I'd work through it and everything would be okay. I wasn't going to let negative Allison get in my way. 

Tuesday I crawled my hind parts out of bed and went to the gym. Boot camp felt pretty good. I had a good feeling that the rest of the week would get progressively better. I went to work, prepared to do the damn thing and turn the week around, then I got a call from my dad. My mom was in the hospital and it sounded serious. The doctors never seem to be any help when you're trying to find out what the hell is going on. It was frustrating. I didn't have anything to tell the family, nothing to tell work, and I didn't want to leave until I knew what was going on, or at least until it looked like she was feeling better. I spent most of Tuesday at the hospital with her, went back after work Tuesday night. Still didn't know much and had a really hard time sleeping because of it.

Wednesday came and I couldn't roll my butt out of bed no matter how badly I wanted to. All day long I beat myself up for not rising and shining and hitting the pavement like a good little runner, but I just couldn't do it. Later that night, I made a promise to myself that I was going to take all that bad energy out to the trail (asphalt trail) and leave it there. I was supposed to run five miles, but I didn't. Instead, I ran three incredibly hard and possibly too fast miles, and I left every bit of the icky on the pavement. I felt like a million dollars after.

The rest of the week got better. Thursday, I did five miles on the treadmill watching The Barkley Marathons on Netflix (by the way... I will NEVER reach that level of insane. I'm putting this in writing... NEVER. EVER. EVER. Watch the documentary and you'll get it.) After the miles, I spent seventy minutes in my most favorite class of all time--Dance Fusion at Germantown Athletic Club with Cari. Her dance class is one of the best things to ever happen to me (from a fitness perspective.) She honest to gods makes working out sooooo much fun. I was so exhausted when it was over, I slept like a baby. Thankfully, Friday was a rest day.

As always, the end the week ended on Saturday with a nine mile long run--which is still not long for me. I won't start getting worried until we're above fifteen miles. The great thing was four miles were long gone before I started feeling it at all. The long, gradual hills from downtown to midtown were a pain in my glutes. But I got it done. I pretty much slept all day after. My body needed it. Badly. And to make things better, by the end of the week we knew what was going on with my mother and she was on her way to recovering. 

ALSO...
In my search for perfect fuel, I came across two new to me products that I foresee becoming staples in my running gear. 

The first was the Cinnamon Waffles from Honey Stinger. I had one before my two long runs to knock off the grumbling belly and give me a little extra boost in the begging. Oh. My. Gods. Those things are freaking delicious. I think I might have to carry them for my actual run. Most of these Gu/Jellys/Gatorade things have a weird taste to me. I mean, I pretty much know I'm eating pure sugar, but this was liking siting down with a cinnamon waffle. Sooooooo yummy! (Click on the picture for more info)

The second was Tailwind Endurance Fuel. I tried the Tropical Buzz first, and again, it was absolutely delicious. I liked this because it didn't make my water fizzy and salty. It added a wonderful fruity taste without color, and to make it even better it's all natural and all organic. 
(Again, click the picture for more info)

Marathon Training - Week 6 Wrap Up

July 23rd-29th ~ 17.1 Miles

Day 37 ~ Rest
Day 38 ~ Women Run/Walk Memphis coaching! 1.6 miles
Day 39 ~ 50min Bootcamp
Day 40 ~ HIIT, Base Miles, 2.4 extra "run buddy" miles (I'll explain this later.)
Day 41 ~ HIIT, Base Miles (dreadmill), Dance
Day 42 ~ HIIT, Rest (Carb up, be silly, chill)
Day 43 ~ HIIT, Long Run (8 miles), Swim

So, I've re-written this post like three times already. I was going to document my entire week and all my thoughts and feelings, but that's boring. I mean, who wants to read the same ol', same ol' week after week? The daily is on Instagram anyway. No sense in rehashing old news, right? Instead, I think I want to share with you guys a little gem of a documentary I found on Netflix this week. It's called From Fat to Finish Line (you can click on the title to see the IMDB listing.)

"The journey of 12 people who share the common bond of losing 100 pounds on average and then embarking on one of the biggest challenges of their lives - the 200 mile mega distance Ragnar Relay Race."

I found this movie because Thursday morning I couldn't make myself get out of bed. The alarm went off at 4am, and I just couldn't do it. The cat kept nuzzling my cheek and purring in my ear, and I just couldn't bring myself to leave the bed. But all wasn't lost. I planned to go to dance class at Germantown Athletic Club that evening, so I told myself I'd get the miles done on the treadmill. I hate the treadmill. Hate. It. So I needed a movie or something on my iPad to keep me occupied for about forty-five minutes while I ran those four miserable miles, otherwise I knew I wouldn't finish. I strolled over to the "available for download" section and went shopping. This is the one I picked... a movie about running, to watch while I was running. Obsessed much?

Immediately, I related to every single person in this documentary. They talked about lifelong weight struggles, one in particular who lost and gained and lost and gained. I know that struggle all too well. Then the woman who didn't have the confidence, the one who felt like she looked ridiculous. I related to the one who got in her own head and convinced herself she couldn't do it. I related to the sick feeling. Every bit of it, even the part where their team-mates stayed by them to pull them through bad runs, and especially the part where they all became a family.

I found a hell of a lot of inspiration in this movie, and it came at a time when I was honest to gods, no kidding, wondering what I was thinking when I signed up to do the marathon. Sure, I make jokes that it's going to kill me, but by Wednesday, I honestly believed I wasn't going to make it all the way to 26.2 miles.

Those four treadmill miles flew by and I felt absolutely amazing. I topped the day off with sixty minutes of dance fusion--which has always been my favorite part of the gym.

By the end of the week, most of my confidence in my ability to see this journey through to the end was coming back. I'll give partial thanks to the people who shared their stories through the documentary, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention my local running community. I mean... they don't exactly let you give up on yourself. And how can you not love people who will get out at 6am on a Saturday morning to sit on the side of the road and wait to hand you water?

Moral of the story, find inspiration however you have to find it. It's okay to give up for a second, even a minute or a day, but don't give up for good. Fall off the horse, but do your best to get right back on it. I've done a lot of giving up, but like one of the women in the movie said, the difference this time was she made a lifestyle change BECAUSE she found running and fell in love.

Marathon Training - Week 4 Wrap Up

July 9th-15th ~ 17.3 Miles

Day 23 ~ Recovery miles
Day 24 ~ 20 min HIIT (WRWM Coaching)
Day 25 ~ Boot Camp
Day 26 ~ Base Miles, 20 min HIIT
Day 27 ~ Base Miles, 30 min HIIT
Day 28 ~ Rest Day
Day 29 ~ Long Run



Still didn't go to dance class Thursday or lift weights on Wednesday night. I've been totally slacking at that. Not because I've wanted to. Adjusting to waking up around 4am to go run has been a challenge. Usually by the end of the work day, I'm beat and I just want to go home and veg out. Week 5, gets worse. I was on vacation... hahaha.

I had one comical day when nothing came together. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Well, almost everything. I didn't hurt myself, but this LOUD bug whose nap I ruined nearly gave me a heart attack, but I couldn't check my heart rate because my watched wasn't fully seated on the charger and was dead when I woke up. That would've been day 26. The picture says it all, right? If everything's going wrong, don't panic. Make the best of it.

Women's Run Walk Memphis started up again. This is my second year as a beginner runner coach. I toyed with the idea of coaching the intermediate group--which is comprised of women who've been running and can hold about a 12 minute or better pace. That would've been a good group for me to coach, but the beginner group is where my heart is. I started there two years ago, at least sixty pounds heavier, and truly having no desire to be a runner, and here I am. I NEED to pass that on to the women who showed up exactly like I did because running has probably been one of the most rewarding and empowering things I've done for myself.

Day twenty-nine I was supposed to run with Breakaway Running (only the most awesome running store in Memphis. It's so much more than a running store) but I had to knock my miles out early because my best friend in the whole entire world was getting married at 2pm and I had a two hour drive to get to her!

As a side note, I drank all the coffee but didn't get a chance to read much of the book.

I AM BACK!

I know this blog didn't get going well the first time around, and that's totally my fault. I let the petty grumblings of someone I considered a friend and my own insecurities stop me from doing this, from documenting the work and EPIC FUN to be had when one decides to become a runner, but I'm here now to fix that and hopefully encourage someone else to make the brave decision to do something good for their body and soul. 

"Running is not, as it so often seems, only about what you did in your last race or about how many miles you ran last week. It is, in a much more important way, about community, about appreciating all the miles run by other runners, too." - Richard O'Brien

Community is truly at the heart of Memphis Running. I know that probably sounds strange and ten years ago, when I was living in a tiny Mississippi town and walking a four mile asphalt path alone every evening, I never would've thought that anything related to fitness could be so fun and rewarding. I learned this very quickly when I joined Women Run Walk Memphis in 2015 as a beginner runner. 

I'm reminded of that when I go to the fridge to check out my Breakaway Running (a local shop that is so incredibly supportive of the community) calendar and strap my shoes on for my scheduled miles. I'm reminded of that when a friend on Facebook says "going out for five miles, who wants to join me?" or I get a text that says, "can we run tonight?" I'm reminded of that when I'm struggling to get up that last hill and a stranger pats me on the shoulder, tells me "you've got this," and chases my ass all the way to the finish line. Exercising, jogging... those are chores we do to keep us healthy. Running is a way of life. Running is community. And I can't even believe I'm saying this because three years ago I would've rather had all my teeth pulled... but running is fun.

My new adventure in running is to complete the St. Jude Full Marathon. (Click on the picture to your right to donate. Pretty please!) I've never done a full marathon before and frankly, I'm a little freaked out, but I'm going to trust the process and follow the training plan. I'm going to listen to my coach, and I'll remember the advice of a friend... not a single mile you run will be half as hard as what those kids have to go through. Gah. I got chills just thinking about that. So here's to a new goal and a new start (though I'm already 21 days into the training.)

I would like to leave you all with this video, care of Rob Hunter and the Memphis Runners Track Club. I'll admit I was moved to tears when the Women Run Walk and MRTC Kids came up. I volunteer for both those programs every year, and this video made me super stinking proud of the work we do. This video made me fall in love with running all over again!

Race Day! The Hill & Dale 8 miler

I've listened to runners talk about how fun and exhausting the long runs in Shelby Forest can be. During the 10 mile races, I watched runners zoom across the finish line in less than an hour. One hour! After being out there, I don't know how the hell they do it. Those hills don't play, and they're one right after another. But the course is one of the most beautiful in and around the city.

Here is a video from the infamous switchbacks. It took less than three minutes to climb, but felt like it lasted forever. We ran down those hills, then attempted to run back up them. On the way, we passed a girl who'd fallen and hurt her hand. She was being walked back to the finish line. My heart sincerely broke for her.



After the run ended, I felt great. I didn't have any shin pain, which was something I'd been battling for a while now. My feet didn't hurt. Life was good! I survived! A few people cheered my name--wonderful people I'd met in the Memphis Runners Track Club. I stormed across the finish line with a battlecry. That's not an exaggeration. I ran so hard it felt like I'd been speared in the center of the chest. After all, that's what we do. Finish hard, like a freakin' warrior.



So, I pretty much spent all of Sunday in the bed or on the couch, on a heating pad. Not because I had a serious injury. Nope. I'm proud to report there were no foot, knee, shin, or hip pains for this one. In fact, I didn't really feel like I'd been bulldozed by death as I'd expected to be. The soreness was in the glutes, quads, hamstrings... all those big muscles in the top of the leg. Sunday felt like I'd leg-pressed my way to eternal damnation. I verbally compromised with those muscles every time I got up or sat down--yes, that includes the toilet.

All in all, I was pretty pleased with the entire day. It started with Confident by Demi Lovato and ended with me feeling pretty damn... confident. I felt like a real runner. I ran the switchbacks. That's kinda a big deal around these parts. I laughed a little as I typed that, but there's some truth in it. Someone told me that doing Hill & Dale was about bragging rights. Now I know why.

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog...

Enjoy this one minute video of me freezing my butt off while trying to form coherent sentences.

Let me start by saying that making the video above was a HUGE step toward self-confidence for me. I hate my voice about as much, if not more, than having my picture taken. However, part of the reason I'm doing this is to break through all those stupid little issues I have with myself so I can love myself more.

The Beginning...

The decision to make a change, like a lot of people, came after seeing a particularly hideous picture of myself and absolutely hating the way I looked. The picture was from my nephew's wedding and I swore that picture would never see the light of day. I promptly pursued weight loss. I dropped about 80 pounds in 9 months. I wasn't smart about it. Sure, I exercised and ate like a bird, but I also took Phentermine and lost the weight way too fast. As soon as I stopped, almost all of it came back.

In 2013, I decided to go at it again. This time, I planned to be a lot smarter about it. I went out an bought myself a Fitbit and I stuck to a diet that was no more than a 1,000 calorie deficit. I got up almost every morning and went to the gym where I walked a couple of miles, then I went to work every day. I was doing the bare minimum, but it was something and I felt a million times better. I lost 20 pounds pretty fast. Then I plateaued and I got discouraged. I gave up.

Thankfully, my stubbornness didn't last too long. A few months, maybe. I bought a treadmill so I didn't have an excuse not to walk. I started doing 5Ks with a good friend and co-worker (I walked my very first 5K in March of 2014 and completed it in just under an hour.) We started doing Fitbit challenges with friends. Life was good and the weight was coming off again. Then another friend and co-worker said to me, "Come do the women run walk with me," and my first reaction was, "um... no." I had absolutely no desire to be a runner. Zero. Nadda. Zilch. That was in June. In September, I ran the graduation 5K in a little over 37 minutes.)

Now...

I participated in the St. Jude 5k in December, which was my first time ever running that race, and I have to say it was one of the most rewarding, most magical experiences of my running life. Seriously. The runner's high was incredible. I finished 3.1 miles in 34:17. My goal had been to finish in under 36 minutes and I can't begin to explain how proud I was for beating the hell out of my goal and setting a personal record for myself.

We're going into 2016, and I've already committed to doing some pretty hardcore races (for me anyway.) I'm doing the Hill and Dale 8 miler on January 2nd. I've signed up to do the Hot Chocolate 15k in Nashville. That's 9.3 hilly miles that I swore a month ago would kill me. And last but not least, the Navy 10nm, which is NOT 10 miles... and it's in the middle of summer. That one might kill me. 

The purpose of this...

A couple of the lovely ladies from my Fitbit challenges said I was so inspiring I should do a blog. I thought--think--they're crazy, but I'm a little crazy too so I figured what the hell. Why not? I figured I would do this for myself first, then for anyone else who might need a little motivation to kick start their fitness goals. Who doesn't need a little motivation, right?

What works for me...

I like goals. I like challenges. I like competition. And I LOVE rewards. For every week I've been a well-behaved little runner, I give myself what I lovingly call "fat-full Saturday." On Saturday, I still get up and go to dance class, still go out to The Greenline and run, but I also allow myself to eat whatever I want. I've earned it. And by giving myself that day to enjoy, it's easier to keep making good choices every other day of the week. I set small, realistic goals. When I meet one of those goals, I get a reward--be it a shopping trip or a tattoo or a slice of cheesecake. The reward itself doesn't really matter. It's recognizing that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.

The biggest, best, most helpful thing I do for myself is surround myself with friends who have similar goals, who want to be healthy and lose weight. Those wonderful people add a whole lot of fun to exercising. Sure, being alone is great too, but having someone there to tell you to keep going really helps. I'm thankful for every single one of those people.